I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
