Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
