I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
