know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
