i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
