no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
