Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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