I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
