Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
