You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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