I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
