somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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