the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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