In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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