His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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