Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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