i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Barsexuality is the new black.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
