pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
