hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
