you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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