question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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