I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize