i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
