Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
