scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Randomize
