I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
