I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
