oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We got so high we made milksteak
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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