Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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