so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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