did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
