Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
