You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Boobs are out for the taking
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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