From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Vodka?
Forever.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
