my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
