I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
