That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
