Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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