Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
