I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize