He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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