i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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