Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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