Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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