Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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