I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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