I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Send help, water and tortillas.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Randomize
