Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize