Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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