why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
