k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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