I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
