Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
