Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
