I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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