just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I deserve this hangover.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
