I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
These tits shall not be calmed
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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