she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
