GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
jump out the window naked night went bad
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