So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
