if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
