Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
