woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
