How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
