are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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