Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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